We are never quite prepared for death. We get a phone call to say " She's in the hospital." and the next call says " She left us." And left us she did in August 2008.
I saw for the first time my uncle and cousins shed tears. And I stand there in remorse, wishing I had spent more time with her. I watched as my mother struggled to cope with her sudden death. And until today, she sheds tears as she reminisce the days we sat around her living room, taking in her infectious laughter, her great humour, her incredible intelligence and her breathtaking charisma.
In 2009,
I lost my cousin. Details as to the cause of the accident will remain unknown. Many have made callous remarks about the accident. But the fact remains that his wife and children will now have to learn to live without him. At the funeral, I am reminded that "A parent should never have to bury his child." But such is life. Death comes a knocking when we least expect it.2010 greeted me with news that the ex's mum has cancer. This time around, it has spread to her bronchial areas. I feel a pang of guilt. She tells me he's devastated but she is coping well. I tell the BF, I will visit her as some regrets can never be made right. And if anything were to go wrong for her, I will never forgive myself for not taking time off to see her.
In 2010, I have made no resolutions. In truth, I never had.
After all they say, eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
And when I die, I hope my parents know I love them, my siblings know I will never trade them for the world, my friends understand I appreciate them and the BF remembers he is my soulmate.
I guess, that is my 2010 resolution.
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