Friday, June 1, 2012

Is it melancholy?

It's been one of those week(s).

I wake up in the morning and I can't pinpoint what exactly it is that is not right. But something, somewhere, somehow is just not right.

It's not that I am unhappy, but I have a gut feeling that sadness lingers in my heart. I'm not sure if its just a tinge of dissatisfaction or it really is melancholy.

I think I may be at a career crossroad. I've been doing this for 7 years now. I feel deep down that I need a change but I am not sure which path I should follow.

It's weird that when I sit down and ask myself what it is that I want, I find that I have no answers. I don't think I am good with dealing with people. I am much too judgmental. I don't think I am great with planning things. I am way too meticulous and anal to be flexible.

Two days ago a steward asked me "Are you working tomorrow?" I said yes, I work every weekday but I finish sharp at 530pm.

"So lucky." he said.

I work an average of 9 hours a day, 5 times a week. Which comes up to 45 hours a week and an average of 180 hours a month. Am I truly lucky? I think the verdict is still out on that one.

How do you reach out for help if you can't identify the problem?

How do you ask for advice when you aren't sure what it is you are unsure of?

How do you ask someone to make you feel better if you don't know if you are truly feeling crestfallen?