emetaphobia

You know your guy is for keeps when, after this horror of a drinkthe birthday girl, who happens to be a really good friend of mine, throws up into a bucket, he

(i) Holds her hair;
(ii) strokes her back;
(iii) pays the waiter some cash as a "I am so sorry you've to clean that up" gesture,

....while I was sitting at the furthest possible seat available from the scene of the barfing.

In my defence, I am emetaphobic.

So to all and sundry, I will not hold your hair when you're barfing, I will not hold the barf bucket, I will not stroke your back, I will not cheer you on. I will not.

What I WILL be doing is, I will be hiding behind the big pillar waiting for you to finish. Then I will wait for you to clean up. Then I will ensure you are all thrown up(ed) before I return to anywhere near you. Then I will refuse to take you home in my car.

What? I'm a really good friend ok.

Really.

Just not when you're barfing.