I'm standing still.

Is it enough to just love a man?

Can his love tide you through everything?

Can his love tide you through emotional upheavals?
Religious turmoil?
Familial obligations?

Every time I think it's smooth sailing, that I am actually happy, I come to a dead end. If I look back, I see the bumps and humps I've overcome but all I have right now after all the hard work, is a dead end.

I see so many people cheering me on, all on the other side. But are these the people I WANT to cheer me on? What about those I've inadvertently left behind to pursue this journey? Why aren't they taking out the poms poms and giving me the support I need?

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I find it hypocritical when someone tells me they only date men of a certain religion. A friend said to me "I will never date a man who is not Christian. He does not have to go to church or be very religious. Religion is very important to me. I do not go to church but I pray and I listen to sermons."

Does that make sense to you?

Religion is important to her only to the point of, he needs to be Christian. He may not need to believe in Christianity, he may not need to practice Christianity, he may not need to go to church or say his prayers. It's okay as long as he is born Christian.

So, what was the point again? How is religion important to her? If it were important to you, it would matter if he is Christian merely by birth or if he were a practicing staunch Christian, right?

And if I myself am not very religious, when did religion become so important to me?

Most wars in history are started by men and their need to assert their religion (which of course ties up with greed and power). And so many of us say we're moderate, and so many of us say we are understanding and we live in harmony, but truly we harbor racism under our facades.

Why do so many people aspire and yearn for a something, which even if it were very flawed, is still a something which is better than another.

" Between fight and flight
Is the blind man's sight
And a choice that's right."
- Jewel, Standing Still.

Please say you're not going out looking like that.

Every time I stumble upon a "fashionable" blog, I oftentimes think they look like a 12 year old. Whose parents were too poor to buy her clothes that actually looked normal so they gave her hand me downs and made her roll her jeans up so it wouldn't drag on the floor.

Seriously. pulling a tank top that barely covers your bellybutton, squeezing into a pair of badly fitted jeans and topping it all off with horrid Doc Marts and a questionable boxy bag, does not a fashionista make you.

Oh Yes, I'll marry you. Wait, is that a 1.5 carat or not?

While a bunch of us were oohh-ahhh-ing over a newborn the other day, a friend brought up a topic of how weird a friend of ours was behaving.

"She's being really weird nowadays."

We deliberated on her weirdness and the conversation strayed into how she was doubting whether the guy she was currently dating was the one for her.

S, my friend said "Did you hear about what she told some of us about J(her boyfriend)?"

"She said she isn't sure if J is for her, as she heard from his friends that he has been shopping around for some rings and also asking around about rings."

So I said "but what does that have to do with whether he is the right one for her? I thought she had been dying to get married? Isn't this a good thing to know J's been shopping for rings?"

S then said "Yeah, but she heard he is only shopping for a one carat ring. She said she couldn't possibly say yes to anything less than a ONE POINT FIVE CARAT."

Apparently Ms. I-won't-say-yes-to-anything-less-than-one-point-five-carat had already shopped for her own ring. It had a price tag of RM76,000.

Whatever happened to true love? Whatever happened to it's the thought that counts?

Granted I adopt the saying that "if your father is poor, it's your fate but if your father in law is poor, then you're dumb" but to say that you think a guy is not for you because he has the audacity to buy you a ring cheaper than RM76,000? That's quite another.

I guess even true love comes with a price tag now.