Call me shallow, but I prefer him good looking. Thankyouverymuch.

Sitting in Chawan the other day, a friend lamented that she craved and missed her single life.

Now, this is the same girl who whined when the rest of us paired up with another and said that she too "wanted a boyfriend" and that she disliked "being lonely."

And when this girl found someone whom all of us thought and still think is funny, good looking, charming and smart, she is beginning to run the opposite direction after 9 months with this man.

"He is too clingy." "He doesn't even give me time to miss him" "He expects too much from me"
and the one that caps the list is, "He is getting too fat. I don't like it."

Before we hear a chorus of men saying how shallow she is, let me just say, we are all entitled to have or desire certain physical attributes in our partners. After all, if every morning you wake up, turn over and see your partner and think "HOLY MACARONI WHAT THE- oh, its you." - it probably isn't a good thing.

So we are entitled to like our men/women, tall, thin, flawless, well endowed (ahem ahem) , handsome, beautiful or have white teeth, perfect smile, 10 fingers and toes and etc.

Does it make us shallow to want a partner who is fit and good looking? I would vote "No." And does it also make us shallow if we begin to resent/dislike the fact that our partner has begun to "let her/himself go?" and grown an additional layer of fat around the tummy, or a pinch worthy flap or flesh on the arms?(it can go the other way too, if you liked your partner with curves and she begins to lose it) I would say no either. After all, as much as we like to deny, physical attraction plays a very large part in a relationship.

When we first meet someone, it's bullshit to say "OH MY WHAT A BIG HEART SHE HAS!" It's definitely going to be "Nice Ass, or Whoa, check out those legs and Oh, great great smile! and of course there is the customary GREAT RACK!"

So one can only hope beyond hope that those things are maintained well within the controls of the person of course. (After all, the enemy of a great rack/nice ass is gravity but that is another story altogether) And that between the great heart, smart and intellectual, kind and considerate, there is a possibility that we do not run the risk of being embarrassed to show off our partners in public.

It's a shame I know that us humans are called "shallow" for wanting or desiring our partners to look a certain way. But it is just how our DNA works. We are BORN that way. We are BORN desiring our partners to look a certain way. Why is it that I find a great smile irresistible? I can't really explain it. Can you? It's not because my parents have horrid smiles and that's why I go the direct opposite. Or that because as a child I watched too many Darlie ads with perfect teeth and perfect smile.

I just do.

To me, being shallow is knowing beyond everything that a partner is inconsiderate, disrespectful of women, conceited, rude, ill mannered, proud, narcissistic, possessive, stingy and generally a bad list of "things not to have" rolled into one, BUT is RICH and choosing to be with that person because he doesn't have anything good, but has a fortune to splash about on you.

Now, THAT is shallow.