Hello, I am a Gym Bitch

I am a GYM BITCH.

I am a gym bitch because I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT STAND THESE 10 CATEGORIES OF GYM-GOERS:-

1. The take one inch back everytime she executes a move type.
*Uppercut* (moves on inch back)
*Front kick* (moves another inch back)
* Eskiva* (moves blardy three inches back)
*Front Knee* (I can almost smell her hair now)

Any form of death stare at ms.inches-back-with-every-move goes unnoticed. Because I am a gym bitch, I purposely move closer and then execute FRONT KICK and *oops* did I kick you? I.am.not.sorry.

2. The WTF can you not see what the person in front of you is doing type.
You can do the move repeatedly. Simple move. Maybe two punches and a kick. Two punches and a kick. Two punches and a kick.
And she will be doing two kicks and a knee up. Then two punches and a knee. Then two kicks and a punch.
Blind ah?

3. The I am so clever I want to do the moves a fraction of a second faster than everybody else.
They call it a RHYTHM for a reason. FOLLOW the rhythm. Just because you have done the track before (much like a lot of us do) does not mean you can go ahead and do it before everyone else just to show how clever you are.
You're just out of sync ok? And you are confusing the poor beginner behind you who cannot seem to make up her mind whether she ought to follow the instructor's rhythm or yours.

4. The lets squeeze into that small space in between the other person and the wall type.
If you are late and the class is full, DONT COME IN AND SQUEEZE YOUR BODY BETWEEN ME AND THE DAMN WALL.
How the heck am I going to do anything if you're inches away from me, close enough for me to smell your breath down my neck and feel your sweat on my arms?!

5. The even though I am new, I MUST carry weights which are heavy enough cos I am a MAN type.
Firstly, BodyPump is fast paced. Secondly, just because you can carry heavy weights during free weights does not mean you can carry it to the rhythm of the music in the class. It is fast and it is repetitive. And its not about how strong you are. It is an endurance class. So if you are a blardy beginner, dont go carry 10kgs on each side for your squats when you cannot even execute a squat properly. Or carry 10kgs for chest press cos you cannot do it often and quick enough before you pancit.
I get so annoyed I just want to make a mad dash towards you and angrily fling the weights down from your bar. See how you have messed my workout routine?

6. The I am so hot I must work out with my hair untied and flowing freely type.
Oh, see my hair do its thang in front of the threadmill.
Oh, my flowing locks.
I.just.dont.get.it

7. The ohmygod makes sex noises during class type.
We grunt when we struggle with the weights during class. we DO NOT yell AHHH, OOOHH, AHHHH, OHHHH like you are experiencing an out of this world orgasm.

8. The can my shorts BE any shorter type.
Bend forward for a stretch, HELLO BUM CHEEKS.
Sit down for bench press, HELLO HIDEOUS UNDERWEAR.
Seriously. Aren't you at least a little shy that your insides are showing? Aren't you afraid of picking up some sort of disease? Don't you owe the world a favour by not showing us your dimply, untoned thighs???

9. The I am such a regular gym goer I want to talk about each and every instructor like they are my best friends type.
"Are you going for Calvin's class tomorrow in Manulife? " "Oh, no, I think I am going for Alvin's class at IOI." "Oh my god, the other day Jun Yin did not teach and I like came all the way here." " Yeah, me too, like Renee was supposed to be there but she didnt make it." "So Peggy's class the other day..."
BLA BLA BLA.

10. The I am a guy but I join BodyJam and dance like a bitch type.
I just dont get why guys would do BodyJam. I'm sorry. It is just so salah.