I need a new best friend

Every year for my birthday, I feel like I need a new best friend.

Every year for the past god knows how many years, my best friend lets me down. She is either never around for my birthday, or does not remember my birthday, or does not bother planning anything for my birthday.

No, I do not consider myself a demanding friend. I DO NOT expect a birthday dinner, or a birthday gift. But I DO expect that you remember my birthday. And not because it rang on your Nokia reminder.

So on my birthday I casually told the BF "I am sure she has forgotten today is my birthday."

And sure enough, at 10.30pm, 1 1/2 hrs before it turned the day after my birthday, she smses "Happy Birthday! Phew, I almost forgot cos I set it on my reminder, but for 12am on the wrong day!".

Thanks best friend.

But she did organise a dinner for me. It wasn't a surprise dinner like the one her Bf and I planned for her birthday. But one which she called and asked "so where do you want to have it?" and then invited some people on facebook but never followed up when some did not reply to her FB invite. So, I had to pick up the pieces by making sure everyone I wanted at the dinner was turning up.

On the day of my dinner, she the organiser, turned up last. And she yelled "I am late because of Secret Recipe!" Which meant the birthday cake was obviously not a surprise. She did after all text me the day before and asked what cake I wanted and she tasked her bf to do the buying for her.

Right now, I am sure I seem ungrateful for her planning a birthday. Everyone tells me, "aiya, at least she planned one!"

But isn't it weird that you are told to be thankful,that your best friend made an effort, however small? Is it wrong to expect it of her? I do things for her willingly.

This is the girl who has no qualms abandoning me when she finds new friends.
This is the girl who says she is too busy to meet up, but finds time to meet up with others.
This is the girl who bitched about me behind my back when I first got together with the BF because she felt "alone" but now that she has found herself a partner, has totally sidelined me for him.
This is the girl whom on my birthday, she quarelled with her then BF, didn't turn up at my dinner, turned off her phone and was not contactable for days but made no apology for it.
This is the girl who turned off her handphone for two weeks without informing anybody because "she just felt like it".
This is the girl who makes me wait all the time. And one time she made me wait in hartamas all by myself for 2 1/2 hours because she went shopping with her housemate.
This is the girl whom never returns phone calls or sms-es.

This is the girl whom the BF asks, "Why is it so hard for her to be your friend?"

And this is the girl who tells other people, I am her best friend because I will always be there for her.

Seems one sided don't you think?

And this is why, every year for my birthday, I feel like I need a new best friend.

And when you sit down for a birthday get together, I realise that I can be friends with those that are present since forever, and they will still show up empty handed and tell you "oh I am still trying to figure out your birthday present."

I find that absolutely nonsensical and useless. Firstly, if you didn't get me anything, that's fine. Secondly, if you haven't had time to buy me anything, that's ok as well.If you're flat broke and you really can do without spending unnecessarily on me, that's cool. But if you have to give me this grandmother story about how you have yet to figure out what to get me, or that you owe me a present because you have been so overwhelmingly busy with your life you haven't had time to buy me a present, then that's just wasting 10 minutes of my life. Which I could have used to save the world. Or a lost kitten. Or bring a man back to life by CPR.

And if you have to give me three days of explanation of the fact that you have overwhelming suffocating love for me, that I am on your top list of priorities and that you would do anything for me , BUT you still won't attend the dinner because you do not know anybody there, then seriously. Go sit in the corner and stop calling me with that stupid story.

The BF's friends turned up at the birthday with presents. Not just ANY present, but well thought of presents. There was wine which catered to his taste (bought that because she remembered the BF mentioned he did not like wine which were sweet) and there were Nike caps ( because he remembered BF mentioning he needed a new cap for tennis) and another offered to swap duties with him so that he need not fly on his birthday.

And my friends of 15 years turned up empty handed because "they haven't figured out what to get me."

And this reminds me of that one time I told the BF to return his friend's call because he had just recently broken up and must have needed to talk. And he told me he would do it later and I labelled him a bad friend.

To which he turned to me and said "What is the point of being a good friend like you? Look at how your good friends treat you. They treat you like shit."


*_*