Two days ago I asked the bf " Hey, how's G doing?"
He said he had not heard from him for a long time. The last they met, he was attending religious classes to convert into Islam - in preparation for marriage. That he was in love and was ready to do that for his future bride to be.
And yesterday as I was bawling my eyes out watching "Hachiko", I turned to the bf and called him the tin man from the Wizard of Oz. He looked amused as I said " you have no heart! You never cry at sad movies!"
This morning he heard G passed away in a traffic accident. And to quote the Tin Man.
"Now I know I've got a heart... 'Cause it's breaking."
He cried.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Status update: Engaged to so and so.
So I recently got engaged. On August 29th 2010 to be exact.
I never knew telling someone you got engaged can be such big news to that person.
Upon saying yes and wearing the ring, I texted my sister and brother to inform them. (In my defence, I did not call them because I was in Bali and I am too cheapskate to spend money on roaming charges) Then I texted my bff in the US to tell her.
A week or two passed before I informed a few of my friends. And another month passed before some people noticed my ring and congratulated me. And until today, I have not really told anyone else that I am engaged unless they text me and say "Woman, do you have something to tell me?!" and I hesitantly say "I'm engaged?"
I'm not too sure it's because I am a intensely private person, or that I feel that details of how the bf/fiancee proposed its special between us. It's as if telling the story over and over again will make it lose its sparkle. I'm not sure. But I had NO IDEA so many people were interested in the HOW DID HE PROPOSE story. I mean, surely it's a he asked and I said yes thing. Why the need for details? I think people like to revel in the romanticism of it all. Who knows.
Ever since the engagement story "got out" (random acquaintances come up to me and say SO I heard...) the question I have been bombarded with is "When's the wedding?" WHEN? WHEN???
I have no idea when ok? Who has their wedding details all worked out two or three days/months after they got engaged? I'm not that psycho. I do not have a wedding book. I do not know what type of wedding I want. Does that make me weird? I guess it does. A friend bought her wedding gown one and a half years before her wedding.ONE and a half freaking years before. That's insane if you ask me.
So far, I only know what TYPE of dress I probably want. That's about it.
On a sidenote, upon finding out my engagement, a close friend has suddenly accelerated her wedding plans. Before I flew off to Bali, I've asked her about her plans and when she was thinking of getting hitched and was told "no plans yet. Earliest also end of next year."
When she found out I got engaged, she suddenly thought not only of the theme of the wedding and the place, she even brought the date forward by three months. I think this has something to do with a sms from the friend-I-cut-out-of-my-life texting said bride to be and saying "if you delay any further, she's going to cut ahead of you."
What is this? A bloody competition? She can win first prize. I'll settle for just qualifying by being engaged. Thanks.
Now, in case you think I dislike weddings, I have to say here, I absolutely LOVE weddings. I love helping out, I love attending them, I love looking at bridal photos, I absolutely love everything about it.
I just don't know anything about my own.
Partly because even though the bf/fiancee told me he had been planning the proposal for a year, I was totally taken by surprise when he asked.
Seriously did not see it coming.
I guess I will eventually have to come up with an answer to the question:-
"WHEN IS THE WEDDING?"
But just not now.
I never knew telling someone you got engaged can be such big news to that person.
Upon saying yes and wearing the ring, I texted my sister and brother to inform them. (In my defence, I did not call them because I was in Bali and I am too cheapskate to spend money on roaming charges) Then I texted my bff in the US to tell her.
A week or two passed before I informed a few of my friends. And another month passed before some people noticed my ring and congratulated me. And until today, I have not really told anyone else that I am engaged unless they text me and say "Woman, do you have something to tell me?!" and I hesitantly say "I'm engaged?"
I'm not too sure it's because I am a intensely private person, or that I feel that details of how the bf/fiancee proposed its special between us. It's as if telling the story over and over again will make it lose its sparkle. I'm not sure. But I had NO IDEA so many people were interested in the HOW DID HE PROPOSE story. I mean, surely it's a he asked and I said yes thing. Why the need for details? I think people like to revel in the romanticism of it all. Who knows.
Ever since the engagement story "got out" (random acquaintances come up to me and say SO I heard...) the question I have been bombarded with is "When's the wedding?" WHEN? WHEN???
I have no idea when ok? Who has their wedding details all worked out two or three days/months after they got engaged? I'm not that psycho. I do not have a wedding book. I do not know what type of wedding I want. Does that make me weird? I guess it does. A friend bought her wedding gown one and a half years before her wedding.ONE and a half freaking years before. That's insane if you ask me.
So far, I only know what TYPE of dress I probably want. That's about it.
On a sidenote, upon finding out my engagement, a close friend has suddenly accelerated her wedding plans. Before I flew off to Bali, I've asked her about her plans and when she was thinking of getting hitched and was told "no plans yet. Earliest also end of next year."
When she found out I got engaged, she suddenly thought not only of the theme of the wedding and the place, she even brought the date forward by three months. I think this has something to do with a sms from the friend-I-cut-out-of-my-life texting said bride to be and saying "if you delay any further, she's going to cut ahead of you."
What is this? A bloody competition? She can win first prize. I'll settle for just qualifying by being engaged. Thanks.
Now, in case you think I dislike weddings, I have to say here, I absolutely LOVE weddings. I love helping out, I love attending them, I love looking at bridal photos, I absolutely love everything about it.
I just don't know anything about my own.
Partly because even though the bf/fiancee told me he had been planning the proposal for a year, I was totally taken by surprise when he asked.
Seriously did not see it coming.
I guess I will eventually have to come up with an answer to the question:-
"WHEN IS THE WEDDING?"
But just not now.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
I earned a courage badge today.
Ending relationships are never easy. Whether it be as friends or as lovers.
Even when I KNEW for a fact that the ex and I could no longer be together, it took me a year to end it. I knew I no longer missed him when we were apart. I knew he was no longer the first person I share everything with. I knew I could not see myself walking down the aisle with him. What more have kids and a family with him. I knew. Yet I did not have the courage to end it.
And after a year (out of the total of 7 years) passed, I finally did. Even then it took me a whole few weeks going back and forth trying to decide for sure I was doing the right thing. After all, if you know someone no longer features in your long term plans, why hold on? I should set him free.
And set him free I did. And now he's happily married with a baby in tow.
When you let go of someone, is it a favour to that person? Are we truly doing that person a favour for not holding on/back to him or her finding a person meant for them?
I have always seen it that way.
I tell the bf, if you ever find yourself falling in love with another, please tell me because I will let you go. I will let you go not because I have no fight in me, but because if you no longer love me, why would I want you anymore? And if you find that someone else is better for you, why would I stand in your way? And stop myself from finding a person who will love me for who I am?
As said in the previous post yesterday, I severed a friendship. A friendship of 16 years. We often read in magazines about the breakup of friendships but never really thought it would happen to us. It does. And it's never easy and it's a lie to say I am not hurt.
It is also never easy to make others understand why there is a need to end the friendship. In fact I was attacked on many fronts for being the bitch in the situation. But the bf tells me "you know best." and I truly do. It hurts to know you treat someone as a good friend and she treats you as an acquaintance. It hurts to know I'd do anything for her, but she places me last in her priority. It's heartbreaking to say the least. And as I grow older and hopefully wiser, I learn to tolerate less. I learn to appreciate my own worth. It's a continuous learning process but I'll get there eventually.
I move on to better things.
Even when I KNEW for a fact that the ex and I could no longer be together, it took me a year to end it. I knew I no longer missed him when we were apart. I knew he was no longer the first person I share everything with. I knew I could not see myself walking down the aisle with him. What more have kids and a family with him. I knew. Yet I did not have the courage to end it.
And after a year (out of the total of 7 years) passed, I finally did. Even then it took me a whole few weeks going back and forth trying to decide for sure I was doing the right thing. After all, if you know someone no longer features in your long term plans, why hold on? I should set him free.
And set him free I did. And now he's happily married with a baby in tow.
When you let go of someone, is it a favour to that person? Are we truly doing that person a favour for not holding on/back to him or her finding a person meant for them?
I have always seen it that way.
I tell the bf, if you ever find yourself falling in love with another, please tell me because I will let you go. I will let you go not because I have no fight in me, but because if you no longer love me, why would I want you anymore? And if you find that someone else is better for you, why would I stand in your way? And stop myself from finding a person who will love me for who I am?
As said in the previous post yesterday, I severed a friendship. A friendship of 16 years. We often read in magazines about the breakup of friendships but never really thought it would happen to us. It does. And it's never easy and it's a lie to say I am not hurt.
It is also never easy to make others understand why there is a need to end the friendship. In fact I was attacked on many fronts for being the bitch in the situation. But the bf tells me "you know best." and I truly do. It hurts to know you treat someone as a good friend and she treats you as an acquaintance. It hurts to know I'd do anything for her, but she places me last in her priority. It's heartbreaking to say the least. And as I grow older and hopefully wiser, I learn to tolerate less. I learn to appreciate my own worth. It's a continuous learning process but I'll get there eventually.
I move on to better things.
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