I earned a courage badge today.

Ending relationships are never easy. Whether it be as friends or as lovers.

Even when I KNEW for a fact that the ex and I could no longer be together, it took me a year to end it. I knew I no longer missed him when we were apart. I knew he was no longer the first person I share everything with. I knew I could not see myself walking down the aisle with him. What more have kids and a family with him. I knew. Yet I did not have the courage to end it.

And after a year (out of the total of 7 years) passed, I finally did. Even then it took me a whole few weeks going back and forth trying to decide for sure I was doing the right thing. After all, if you know someone no longer features in your long term plans, why hold on? I should set him free.

And set him free I did. And now he's happily married with a baby in tow.

When you let go of someone, is it a favour to that person? Are we truly doing that person a favour for not holding on/back to him or her finding a person meant for them?

I have always seen it that way.

I tell the bf, if you ever find yourself falling in love with another, please tell me because I will let you go. I will let you go not because I have no fight in me, but because if you no longer love me, why would I want you anymore? And if you find that someone else is better for you, why would I stand in your way? And stop myself from finding a person who will love me for who I am?

As said in the previous post yesterday, I severed a friendship. A friendship of 16 years. We often read in magazines about the breakup of friendships but never really thought it would happen to us. It does. And it's never easy and it's a lie to say I am not hurt.

It is also never easy to make others understand why there is a need to end the friendship. In fact I was attacked on many fronts for being the bitch in the situation. But the bf tells me "you know best." and I truly do. It hurts to know you treat someone as a good friend and she treats you as an acquaintance. It hurts to know I'd do anything for her, but she places me last in her priority. It's heartbreaking to say the least. And as I grow older and hopefully wiser, I learn to tolerate less. I learn to appreciate my own worth. It's a continuous learning process but I'll get there eventually.

I move on to better things.