When was the last time you were happy?

When was the last time you were truly, abundantly, carefree-ly happy?

I was 9 months ago and I still am now.

9 months ago when I embarked on the journey with the BF, many of my friends( close friends/best friends) tried to bring me down. They poked holes in my happiness, they called me names, they labeled me a bad friend they basically put a big fat overwhelming wet blanket over my happiness.
I did not understand the reason behind it. And until today I still do not. How can you call yourself my friend when you envy my happiness?

When two of my close friend revealed over the last few weeks that they had found love, I was happy, no scrap that, I was ecstatic. I felt thrilled that they had found somebody. Never once did I feel left out or abandoned. Never once did I feel a tinge of envy that they were more likely than not be spending more time with this new person than with me.
Never once did I bitch about the fact that they may choose to be with their partners over me.
I just felt happy.

And when over the weekend a friend told me he had broken up with his fiancee of 1 year and girlfriend of 8 years because he had fallen for another, I cheered him on. I cheered him on because I know how it is to be with someone for donkey years and still think "Is this it?"
And to have "what ifs" with people we meet. He said he felt guilty as many friends made sure that he knew how selfish he was for abandoning something he had built for 9 years and decided to pull the plug and plunge his fiancee's life into darkness.
Is he truly selfish?
How is it selfish to think that his ex fiancee deserved to be loved by someone who can love her right? What is the point of staying together out of obligation? His heart will remain with someone else and he would not be able to love her the way she deserves.
And what type of friend would make him feel guilty for pursuing his happiness?
Not me. I am not that kind of friend.

We are all entitled to our own happiness. We should pursue it to the best we can.
At the first few months to my relationship, my mother vehemently objected to it. We argued and did not speak for a few months. But one day she told me :-

"You live your life for yourself. Not for me or your father. You are only answerable to yourself."

And that is how I intend to live my life.

I'm sorry I let you down

Over the weekend, I found out that I cannot possible have another job other than being a flight attendant, if I date a pilot.

During a break in tennis (also known as me honing my non existent tennis skills) the BF's friend asks :-

"So, how long have you been with company X?"
"Er, I am not in the aviation industry."
"Oh." (I SWEAR I heard a hint of disappointment there.)

After partying on Saturday night (Note to self: When you are way past the legal age to party, it means Saturday nights are better spent sitting at home or catching a movie)

"Are you with company X or with another company?"
"I am not in the aviation industry at all."
"Oh." (Cue hint of disappointment)

Just yesterday, I met some of the BF's brother's friends.

"Where do you stay?"
"Oh, quite far away from here. You?"
"Cheras."
"Wow. That is far."
"But I think from Cheras to the airport its the same distance from where you stay to airport."
"I work in PJ."

*confuzzled (confused+puzzled) look*

"I am not in the airlines.."

ALTOGETHER NOW:-

"OH."(and remember the immense hint of disappointment)

I am sorry, I let all of you down for not being in the airlines.

But I think letting all of them down for not being in the airlines cannot compare to letting the BF's colleague's girlfriend down for being the age that I am.

Chick that I have literally just met for 5 seconds: "HOW OLD ARE YOU?"
"Oh, I am *reveals age*"
"Isn't (insert BF's name) only *reveal age*?"
"Er, yeah?"

And as usual, reeking with sheer disappointment and hampa and duka, comes the:-

"OH."

Seriously.

So, I am not a young flight attendant.

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!

I blame it on the BF I tell you.

Sheesh.

So, for now and until time immemorial, If anyone asks, I AM A FLIGHT ATTENDANT.

This is a $%*&!@^% Public Service Announcement

"Hey, are you free to talk?"
"Yeah sure I have some time.What is up?"
"Nothing la. I just want to talk to someone, but I do not know what to talk about."

*_*

Firstly, let it be known that I HATE/ABHOR/DISLIKE/FIERCELY OBJECT/BENCI TANG TERAMAT SANGAT talking on the phone when, you call me :-

a) and narrate your train of thought;
b) mumble to yourself;
c) ask me the same bloody questions over and over again;
d) tell me irrelevant things like why you cannot go past the toll at 4.45pm, but 5pm is ok;
e) ask me for a favour, then retract the request, then change your mind, then ask again and then retract...;
f) whine. about the same things you whined about last night, and the night before, and the night before that and last week and the month before; AND
f) just because you are free, and you have nobody else to call.

... seriously.

This privilege of calling me and saying absolutely nothing of importance is reserved for family only. That is because I cannot choose my family. I am stuck with them and hence I love them and hence they have privileges which DO NOT attach to our friendship which does not bind us by blood.

And secondly, if I did not pick up the call the first second and THIRD time, chances are :-
a) I AM BUSY and/or
b) I AM IGNORING YOUR CALLS.

So please, for the sake of humanity, do not call me again. and again.and again.AND AGAIN.

It makes me think that by golly, something must be really wrong!
Only to be proven dead wrong when I call back because you just wanted to ask me something irrelevant like "eh, do you have any movies to recommend ah?"

So, yeah, I get antsy on the phone when you call not because I am impatient, but because YOU'RE SO BLOODY ANNOYING.