I need some courage.

Sometimes I think I have made the right decision.

Sometimes I think, maybe not.

How many ways can one disappoint their parents? Or their siblings?

Ultimately in life, if I choose to be happy, how many hearts do I crush with the decision that I make? How many people will think I am being stupid? How much of my future is guaranteed to be bright and right?

Oh Dahlia, did you parents have no objections? If only I had your courage.

Confessions of an almost 30 yr old.

The thing about growing old-er is that we mellow.
That or I have less space in my heart to hold grudges and be angry.

On a side note, planning a wedding is seriously time consuming.
I am officially the worst bride ever. Everybody's nightmare I guess.

Anyway I digress, back to having no grudges.

I have in the past two weeks picked up the phone and texted two people I have sworn never to speak to again. Asked them if they are ok, congratulated them on their promotions and their work and all they've done in their lives. One was surprised I contacted her and said "I thought you were still angers maximus?" the other was relieved I have finally decided to take the first step to speak to her.

What is it about growing old that leaves our hearts more open to accept flaws and shortcomings? I thought 6 months ago that as I grow older, I have less space to tolerate bad behaviour and crap friends. But as these 6 months slowly drifted by, I realised I am more open to accepting that we can never ever again be great friends, but we do not have to be enemies.

I guess growing older does ensure that we gain some wisdom and learn to finally let go. Of promises which will be broken and of people who will drift apart.

Maybe growing older is about learning that, we can only do so much but the most important thing is that we must try.

Ed Zachary disease. Your face looks "ed zachary" like your ass.

I hardly ever make new year resolutions. I just don't get why we have to wait til the end of the year to do that. We should be making resolutions every day of the year.

I make daily resolutions. I shall not be your excuse for your bad behaviour. I shall not eat McD's anymore. I will not care about being your friend if you were never mine in the first place. I shall workout tomorrow.

Resolutions. Why wait? My resolution for tomorrow is to get something done to my blah hair. See how easy it is? One step at a time!

On a side note, I walked into a bridal shop two days ago and found the perfect dress amidst a sea of ugliness and bad sales behaviour. Disappointed to know that the dress belonged to someone else, I asked the (rude) sales lady whether she had anything similar to the dress I-would-sell-my-fiancee for and was told "This dress is very expensive as the lace is very expensive."

Yeah so what bitch?

Do you think that I can't afford it? Even if I could NOT afford it, your JOB (if you have forgotten), is to take the damned dress off the rack, undress it from the plastic cover, walk over to me, and pass it to me and use your fingers to zip me up.

In fact, if your dresses weren't SO ugly, I wouldn't even dare DIE in them, I would make you take twenty dresses, try them on and say "oh they all look so ugly" and walk out from your shop. bitch.

If not for my sister being there, I would have made it known to you that you can eat shit and die. (or something along those lines)

I will never tolerate bad behaviour. Especially if you're in sales. Especially so also, if you're in doing sales in a bridal shop. Imagine a happy skipping bride turning up at the bridal shop and being met with thunder face rude "her face looks exactly like her ass" sales woman.

Killjoy.

I hope one day you trip over a long train, hit yourself on the head and start bleeding profusely and I will be standing there watching and when you say "please call the ambulance", I'll say "the nearest hospital is Prince Medical Court. It's very expensive."