If you're lying, you're lying.

Lately I have this acquaintance who has gone all feminist/feminism crazy. Feminist enough to burn her bra (if she wore one). Exclaiming that her photos on FB are "raw and unedited" because she "will not bow to society's standard of perfection." And calling herself a "once borderline bigot/homophobes" now a newly converted lover of everybody under the rainbow.

I laughed out loud throughout her whole "metamorphosis" from the girl who called herself "anti-social" because "I don't allow people to search for me on FB" (and that is why she used to have only 70 friends) to this girl who randomly added people because it made her seem popular. By random I mean people she loudly declared she didn't even like. Adding girls in school who didn't even know her name or girls she once met at the mamak but didn't go over to say hi because "Why should I? What for? I don't even like her". I am sure she beams in excitement and pride whenever she adds someone who had a dash of "celebrity-ness" to them.

I find it very very sad.

Sad because deep down inside, I know that this is not the true her.

If she were indeed a feminist, she would not accept money from a man to pay for her daily expenses. If she were indeed such a defender of women rights, she would not have been unemployed since she graduated and relied on sleeping with a man for her money. Sure, she denies she is a gold digger, in fact she said "I am insulted that you think I am" when you mention that word, but does not hesitate to ask the guy she's sleeping with for money to travel the world, or buy her expensive shoes and bags and pay for her expensive habits.

Feminist? It's f**king Bullshit.

A feminist doesn't find the need to put up a fake accent every time she speaks to a foreigner.

Why can't she just be her?

The thing is, I have been telling my friends about her. But have been labeled the 'bitch' for not giving her a second chance to be a friend. But two days ago, she was a no show at a friend's wedding and made no attempt to apologise for her. Finally everybody sees her true colours. I want to yell "I TOLD YOU SO" to all of them, but shall refrain. Because her actions will speak for itself.

We are no longer "cool" enough for the reformed feminist. We are not "glamorous" enough for this defender of human rights. We are just plain people who used to throw her birthday parties, held her hand when she cried, gave her a shoulder to lay her head when she needed one, gave her a place to stay when she didn't have one, suffered her moods and was a friend to her when all the world turned against her.

How boring.

We're just plain ol' boring people.

Here's hoping Ms. Reformed Feminist will put up her show long enough for her new friends to actually know the real her and love her for who she is. And not for who she pretends to be.

Lying can never save us from another lie. - Vaclav Havel

If you're lying, you're lying. - John C. Maxwell

How the Tin Man found his heart

Two days ago I asked the bf " Hey, how's G doing?"

He said he had not heard from him for a long time. The last they met, he was attending religious classes to convert into Islam - in preparation for marriage. That he was in love and was ready to do that for his future bride to be.

And yesterday as I was bawling my eyes out watching "Hachiko", I turned to the bf and called him the tin man from the Wizard of Oz. He looked amused as I said " you have no heart! You never cry at sad movies!"

This morning he heard G passed away in a traffic accident. And to quote the Tin Man.

"Now I know I've got a heart... 'Cause it's breaking."

He cried.

Status update: Engaged to so and so.

So I recently got engaged. On August 29th 2010 to be exact.

I never knew telling someone you got engaged can be such big news to that person.
Upon saying yes and wearing the ring, I texted my sister and brother to inform them. (In my defence, I did not call them because I was in Bali and I am too cheapskate to spend money on roaming charges) Then I texted my bff in the US to tell her.

A week or two passed before I informed a few of my friends. And another month passed before some people noticed my ring and congratulated me. And until today, I have not really told anyone else that I am engaged unless they text me and say "Woman, do you have something to tell me?!" and I hesitantly say "I'm engaged?"

I'm not too sure it's because I am a intensely private person, or that I feel that details of how the bf/fiancee proposed its special between us. It's as if telling the story over and over again will make it lose its sparkle. I'm not sure. But I had NO IDEA so many people were interested in the HOW DID HE PROPOSE story. I mean, surely it's a he asked and I said yes thing. Why the need for details? I think people like to revel in the romanticism of it all. Who knows.

Ever since the engagement story "got out" (random acquaintances come up to me and say SO I heard...) the question I have been bombarded with is "When's the wedding?" WHEN? WHEN???

I have no idea when ok? Who has their wedding details all worked out two or three days/months after they got engaged? I'm not that psycho. I do not have a wedding book. I do not know what type of wedding I want. Does that make me weird? I guess it does. A friend bought her wedding gown one and a half years before her wedding.ONE and a half freaking years before. That's insane if you ask me.

So far, I only know what TYPE of dress I probably want. That's about it.

On a sidenote, upon finding out my engagement, a close friend has suddenly accelerated her wedding plans. Before I flew off to Bali, I've asked her about her plans and when she was thinking of getting hitched and was told "no plans yet. Earliest also end of next year."
When she found out I got engaged, she suddenly thought not only of the theme of the wedding and the place, she even brought the date forward by three months. I think this has something to do with a sms from the friend-I-cut-out-of-my-life texting said bride to be and saying "if you delay any further, she's going to cut ahead of you."

What is this? A bloody competition? She can win first prize. I'll settle for just qualifying by being engaged. Thanks.

Now, in case you think I dislike weddings, I have to say here, I absolutely LOVE weddings. I love helping out, I love attending them, I love looking at bridal photos, I absolutely love everything about it.

I just don't know anything about my own.

Partly because even though the bf/fiancee told me he had been planning the proposal for a year, I was totally taken by surprise when he asked.

Seriously did not see it coming.

I guess I will eventually have to come up with an answer to the question:-

"WHEN IS THE WEDDING?"

But just not now.