I'm not sure about others, but being the Virgo that I am, there are days that I wake up and feel as if I ate a truckload of crap the day before and it finally processed and made its way up to the surface. There are days I wake up and think " I CAN CONQUER THE WORLD" or "Nah, it's just a traffic jam. Crank up the music!" and then there are days where I wished the lady who just rudely cut into my lane at the freeway will never ever have children, or will have children born without their buttocks (us Chinese say this for some reason).
The thing is that I have been at this job for seven years. There are days I wake up and feel that I no longer want to do this. That perhaps there is something out there for me to see, to discover and to experience. And then there are days I think maybe I am where I am suppose to be.
Ever been ticked off by your boss over a small mistake and instantly feel that you're incompetent? I have and I do.
I'm not sure its because I have the highest respect for my boss or that I feel I will never live up to his expectations of me. Or that secretly I know that I am not doing as well as I should. Or that I am not trying to be as good as I think I can be.
Us lawyers have spent 2 years doing our A-Levels, 3 years getting a degree, one year for our Bar exams and another 9 months for our pupillage (almost 7 years). And while others came out swinging, I took baby steps into the realm of law. While others took huge strides in their careers, I feel like I'm just beginning to find my balance to learn how to walk. Sometimes I wonder if this whole law thing is for me. Maybe I am built for other pursuits, but I have yet to find the courage to drop everything and try to pursue it.
Perhaps one day I will wake up and know my exact purpose in life. Perhaps one day I will wake up and not feel that I have not done enough. Perhaps one day I will wake up and learn that I have done the best I could, I have tried the most I can and this is exactly where I am suppose to be.
Perhaps.
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