Hey 2012,wassup?

You know the saying "let time heal what reason cannot".

I live by that.

If you'd asked me back in March 2011 why I had such a big fallout with a friend of 17 years, I could tell you every minute detail- down to the things she did and did not do, the words she uttered and the texts she sent me. Today, I have all but forgotten what happened except that we are no longer friends, much less acquaintances. I was given the cold shoulder when I bumped into her two weeks ago at a wedding. I am no longer a teenager, no longer a young adult. I am in the third box now. But here I am faced with a "former friend" of 17 years, giving me the cold shoulder.  I guess some people do not grow up.

Many have told me some people find fault in another person's life because they are essentially very unhappy with their own. Could it be true? Could it be true that I kept all my friends happy when I was the most unhappy with my own life? And once I made a decision to follow the path to happiness, everything unraveled. I was no longer the friend I used to be. Why would anybody who claim to be a friend, rob you or stop you from finding happiness? Or enjoying and embracing a new life with new beginnings? I guess some people just can't find it in their hearts to allow others to be happy.


2011 was eventful for me. For one, I got married. Not just to any guy, but to the guy whom I met 10 years ago when I was merely 21 and attached to someone else. I made the decision then that I could not be with him, for we had cultural and religious differences. But God had other plans for me. And in 2008, I was single again after 7 years of holding on to something which was obviously not for me, and I met him again. And the first thing he said to me was "I guess you're married now?"

It is only when you are at your lowest point in life, do you realise your true friends. It was when I was torn between taking the plunge into something I could never leave or walking away from someone I loved wholeheartedly, that someone told me "Who cares? It's not easy to find love. And it certainly is not easy to find a man who is crazy in love with you. Whatever comes next, you'll deal with it later on. And rest assured he'll be right there to deal with it with you."

In 2011, I learn to let go. Of grudges. Of hate. I extended an olive branch or two to friends I had sworn I would never speak to again. I made that decision when someone whom I admired and loved passed away from cancer. I didn't have a chance to say goodbye. I was a day late. I would hate to live life regretting missed opportunities to tell someone I loved them or that I am sorry I hurt them.

2011 was also the year I realised I am no longer as attached to material things as I thought I was. I know my peers earn double of what I earn, yet I find that I do not envy their late nights, their lack of social activities and their office doubling as their home. A friend of mine worked hard for every penny she earned. Late nights, working weekends, working from home and all that stopped as soon as she learned she was pregnant. She told me" Suddenly I don't really care so much about work anymore."

I have also learned to be thankful. While I hate the size of my thighs, I am thankful that my legs are strong. I am thankful that I have a loving family, a wonderful husband, great friends, fantastic boss and a job I have passion for. I am grateful for the opportunities I have been given and the many endless possibilities that 2012 will offer me.

I am happy. And my wish for 2012 is that each and every one of you will find happiness too. One that is not selfish. One that does not increase or decrease with the level of another person's happiness. 

Happy 2012!