Friday, June 25, 2010

Excuse me, would you like to be a model?

In Tropicana City the other day, while I was coughing and sneezing and honking my nose into a piece of tissue, a guy came over to me and asked " Have you ever thought of modelling?"

If I weren't in that sad state of I-have-been-sick-for-two-fking-weeks, I would have doubled over in rambunctious laughter.
Reason for laughter is now carefully put in non alphabetical order:-

1) In Tyra Bank's words "Short girls have never grown up thinking they can be a model."; AND

2) I am not perasan.

Not to say that those who want to be a model ARE perasan cantik, but 90% of the time, they are.

Case in point:- (with no disrespect to Ms. Serene here)
but...REALLY? She really wants to be a model? Well anyway, whoever thinks she should win, should vote for her.

It is one thing to be on the streets and be spotted by a scout ala Kate Moss or Tengku Azura (ok, she wasn't on the streets, she was working in McD's but I say potato you say poytahtoh) but it's quite another to join a reality show called "I WANNA BE A MODEL" or something like that. I mean that usually means, you have to firstly think "GAWD I'M HOT" and secondly think "GAWD, THIS BODY IS ROCKING!" before you think " I SHOULD BE A MODEL!"

True?

That's just judgmental cynical me talking but unfortunately, I posses none of those perasan-ess to think I should try modelling.

The one time I did anything which can remotely be called "modelling" was back in college for a Redken hair show and I didn't get paid, and I did it as a favour for a friend and I ended up with copper coloured hair, which got the taxi man all worried when I stepped into his taxi cos he thought I was from China and I may have SARS.

So, back to the guy who approached me. I wiped my nose dry and told him "Oh, nah, I don't look good in photos."

To which he replied "oh but you will never know. I represent a talent agency and I think you should think about it. "

"Really? Can I have a card then?"
"Oh I don't have one. But here is my number, and give me a call if you change your mind."

So there was an exchange of numbers (the only way I could get rid of him and if he wants to convince me, it should be on his bill, no?) and ever since then, he has called me incessantly. Out of 10 times which he called me in 4 days, I missed all but one call.

"Oh you finally picked up!"
"Yes, I was in court and I can't talk on the phone when I am in court."
"oh, so you're a practising lawyer?" (stupid question this, if I weren't practising, why would I be in court?)
"Yes, I am a practising lawyer."
"I see, I was just wondering whether you would seriously consider modelling, or being in commercials, or etc,"
"Photoshop may have grown leaps and bounds, but I look so bad in photos, it really cannot help me much."
"Hahaha. I think you should consider it, maybe we can have a drink sometime to talk about it?"
"I think not. Either way, I am busy now. Even if you want to try to convince me, a phone call is sufficient."
"Ok sure. Btw, what law do you practise?"
"Criminal law."

And that my friend, was the last time I heard from persistent "talent scout" man.

Ahhhh, the great perks of being a criminal lawyer.

Monday, June 14, 2010

I am annoyed central.

I AM ANNOYED.

Annoyed that the flu which I contracted last Wednesday has not only stayed on but has decided that today's the day to go all out/full blown.

Annoyed that in addition to the damned flu, I have a fever.

Annoyed that my left eye has been twitching for a whole damned week.

Annoyed that in this sad sick state that I am in, I have to travel to God-forsaken-forever-jammed-up Klang with a client, but I cannot contact her to confirm the time. Hence I cannot go and see a doctor until she picks up the damned phone when I call or returns my calls to confirm what time she is ready to leave.

Annoyed that it took me a whole four hours to get back from my hometown yesterday because of the unusually heavy traffic which until today I cannot for the life of me figure out why!

Annoyed that my receptionist can do the same thing over and over again for the past 5 years, but still finds the need to WAIT for me to instruct her to do it before she gets it done.

Annoyed with drivers who are so obviously lousy, they should walk to wherever they want to go , who insist on driving on the fast lane and hogging the damn road when OTHER PEOPLE HAVE THINGS TO DO IN THEIR LIVES YOU KNOW? &^%$#*&@#$

Annoyed with people who press the lift up AND down because they are too fking kiasu and cannot wait for the lift and must ensure they get in the lift in the FASTEST possible time, only to have us stop at different floors FOR NOTHING.

Annoyed with people who make small talk in the lift, but find the need to shout it out loud. "WAH SO LATE TODAY? YEAH I CAME BACK LAST NIGHT AT 9 SOMETHING! YEAH I SAID 9 SOMETHING!!!!"

I am SO BLOODY ANNOYED.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

You're not a friend.

Over MSN the other day I told a friend that "I think J and I are no longer friends."

He prodded for the cause of that statement and I just told him it was because we're now nothing but acquaintances.

Of course to many out there, friends and acquaintances are terms which are interchangeable. But truly they are not.

I once received a card from an ex's current gf, written in it was :-

" Happy to be an acquaintance! followed by XOXO, Kristy."

If that's not weird enough, about a week prior to that card, she had called me asking for information on the ex.

"Tell me about him."
"He's YOUR boyfriend, you can ask HIM what you need to know about him, no?"
"Yeah, but I want to hear it from you."

Can someone please say psycho.

After that card, I never heard from her again.

See? Those are things that acquaintances say. Those are things that you never expect your friend to do. Not to you anyway.

So when this friend of mine told me:-

"I didn't get you a birthday present because I thought I would seem like a hypocrite for giving you a kick ass gift when below the surface, we're no longer such great friends."
(If you ever need a reason NOT to buy your friend a gift for his/her birthday, this would be it.)

I figured, we are nothing but acquaintances now.

Funny thing is, I don't really care. And it feels liberating.