Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Things that go bump in the darkness of the aircraft

Yesterday over a Japanese dinner, I asked the BF if anyone had died on flight in his airline's history.

He remarked that an old lady died, an assumed peaceful death, as she fell asleep and never woke up. Right after that explanation, he launched into horror stories of how a few cabin crew and technicians had encountered an old lady on the aircraft.

So one friend asked why I chided the BF for telling me horror stories as it did not necessarily mean that I would have the same encounter on flight when I flew with the BF's airline.

I explained that what if, I were seated on one of those empty flights and suddenly out of nowhere an old lady appears beside me and I were to buzz the Flight Attendant, and it would be the same flight attendant that was on my flight the other day from PEN-KUL.

And she will say " What old lady? I don't see no old lady! It's only you seated there."

Well, I wouldn't blame her, cos her hairdo looked like this :-


HOW TO SEE GHOSTS?

Can hardly see anything with only one eye much less see the elusive old lady who haunts the aircraft.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

the stupid things I agree to do for a friend

While I was devouring my dinner yesterday, I received a phone call.

I have recently discovered that as I grow older, I have somehow become phone phobic. I hate to have long phone conversations, unless something really important needs to be said. The only people I like to talk to on the phone for long hours are my family and of course the BF. (who is always on panic mode if I do not pick up my phone after two calls because he assumed I must have been mugged and left for dead in some ditch- drama itu my BF)

If not, then let's just keep it short and sweet.

So anyway, I digress. Yesterday at the dinner table, I received a phone call. This one person calls me so often, I may soon have to pretend I died just to avoid her calls.

Me: hello?
T: hello!? Eh tomorrow ah, can do you do me a favour?
M: What?
T: I need you to help me with ( insert stupid request)
M: But why? Then it means I cannot go for my workout la.
T: Oh, if you cannot then I find somebody else la.
M: FIND SOMEBODY ELSE.
T: But there is nobody else.

*_*

M: But you haven't even ASKED anybody else.
T: I am sure there is nobody else.


And while this conversation is going on, the BF is shaking his head and mouthing "No."

M: Oklah. *forlorn*

Today at exactly 9am, my phone beeps.

Text message reads : "Eh, so today you help me with the (insert stupid request asked for yesterday) ok? Thanks!I owe you a meal. "

I may just have to throw away my phone soon. Blackberry Storm or not.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I need a new best friend

Every year for my birthday, I feel like I need a new best friend.

Every year for the past god knows how many years, my best friend lets me down. She is either never around for my birthday, or does not remember my birthday, or does not bother planning anything for my birthday.

No, I do not consider myself a demanding friend. I DO NOT expect a birthday dinner, or a birthday gift. But I DO expect that you remember my birthday. And not because it rang on your Nokia reminder.

So on my birthday I casually told the BF "I am sure she has forgotten today is my birthday."

And sure enough, at 10.30pm, 1 1/2 hrs before it turned the day after my birthday, she smses "Happy Birthday! Phew, I almost forgot cos I set it on my reminder, but for 12am on the wrong day!".

Thanks best friend.

But she did organise a dinner for me. It wasn't a surprise dinner like the one her Bf and I planned for her birthday. But one which she called and asked "so where do you want to have it?" and then invited some people on facebook but never followed up when some did not reply to her FB invite. So, I had to pick up the pieces by making sure everyone I wanted at the dinner was turning up.

On the day of my dinner, she the organiser, turned up last. And she yelled "I am late because of Secret Recipe!" Which meant the birthday cake was obviously not a surprise. She did after all text me the day before and asked what cake I wanted and she tasked her bf to do the buying for her.

Right now, I am sure I seem ungrateful for her planning a birthday. Everyone tells me, "aiya, at least she planned one!"

But isn't it weird that you are told to be thankful,that your best friend made an effort, however small? Is it wrong to expect it of her? I do things for her willingly.

This is the girl who has no qualms abandoning me when she finds new friends.
This is the girl who says she is too busy to meet up, but finds time to meet up with others.
This is the girl who bitched about me behind my back when I first got together with the BF because she felt "alone" but now that she has found herself a partner, has totally sidelined me for him.
This is the girl whom on my birthday, she quarelled with her then BF, didn't turn up at my dinner, turned off her phone and was not contactable for days but made no apology for it.
This is the girl who turned off her handphone for two weeks without informing anybody because "she just felt like it".
This is the girl who makes me wait all the time. And one time she made me wait in hartamas all by myself for 2 1/2 hours because she went shopping with her housemate.
This is the girl whom never returns phone calls or sms-es.

This is the girl whom the BF asks, "Why is it so hard for her to be your friend?"

And this is the girl who tells other people, I am her best friend because I will always be there for her.

Seems one sided don't you think?

And this is why, every year for my birthday, I feel like I need a new best friend.

And when you sit down for a birthday get together, I realise that I can be friends with those that are present since forever, and they will still show up empty handed and tell you "oh I am still trying to figure out your birthday present."

I find that absolutely nonsensical and useless. Firstly, if you didn't get me anything, that's fine. Secondly, if you haven't had time to buy me anything, that's ok as well.If you're flat broke and you really can do without spending unnecessarily on me, that's cool. But if you have to give me this grandmother story about how you have yet to figure out what to get me, or that you owe me a present because you have been so overwhelmingly busy with your life you haven't had time to buy me a present, then that's just wasting 10 minutes of my life. Which I could have used to save the world. Or a lost kitten. Or bring a man back to life by CPR.

And if you have to give me three days of explanation of the fact that you have overwhelming suffocating love for me, that I am on your top list of priorities and that you would do anything for me , BUT you still won't attend the dinner because you do not know anybody there, then seriously. Go sit in the corner and stop calling me with that stupid story.

The BF's friends turned up at the birthday with presents. Not just ANY present, but well thought of presents. There was wine which catered to his taste (bought that because she remembered the BF mentioned he did not like wine which were sweet) and there were Nike caps ( because he remembered BF mentioning he needed a new cap for tennis) and another offered to swap duties with him so that he need not fly on his birthday.

And my friends of 15 years turned up empty handed because "they haven't figured out what to get me."

And this reminds me of that one time I told the BF to return his friend's call because he had just recently broken up and must have needed to talk. And he told me he would do it later and I labelled him a bad friend.

To which he turned to me and said "What is the point of being a good friend like you? Look at how your good friends treat you. They treat you like shit."


*_*

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Since when did it become a sin to be alone?

I am no spring chicken.

I know.

Next week, I turn a year older.

As I grow older, more people rush up to my face and ask "WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?"
And all these while, while I was with the ex, he never joined me at any family functions. He never joined me at any official functions. Actually, he hardly joined me at any functions at all. But that is another story, today's story is about how, just because I introduced the BF to the family, the extended family, and the friends, now at every function they ask "EH WHY ARE YOU ALONE? YOUR BF- leh?" and then there is the customary.."so when you getting married la?" followed by a wink wink and a smile.

*_*

It's as if it suddenly became a sin to go to functions alone. As if it suddenly means something went wrong with the relationship if I decide to attend a dinner by myself. Or that I am going to die an old sad little woman because I turned up for a get-together solo.

When I was with the ex, we never turned up for anything together. The legal fraternity was of the opinion that I never had a boyfriend. And that I made up those stories to hide the fact that I was actually, deep down inside, a closet lesbian.

So here is a public announcement.

I am not getting married anytime soon. No, seriously, I am not a closet lesbian waiting to be discovered.
It's okay if I am old and wrinkly and nobody wants me. I can live with that. I will just gate crash friends and their families' open houses during festivities. (I have warned them and they don't seem to mind).

Alright?

Friday, September 4, 2009

Envy

What is it about envy that turns us into monsters? Turn friends into enemies? Turn lovers into haters?

Just the other day over dinner, my cousin(J) told me that her sister (S) was always envious of my sister(A). She was envious that A always seemed to have everything. A travelled the world when she joined the airlines. After she left the airlines, she studied overseas and after that she met a nice Italian man and she settled down in Italy. Until today S remains envious of A. And due to this envy, S could never be as close to A as J is to me.

About two weeks back, the BF and I met his good friend, who is also a pilot in the same airlines for supper. Along with him he brought a Flight Attendant from the same airlines. She was relatively new to the country having just joined the airlines a few months before. Over supper, she lamented that she was considering leaving the airlines as she could no longer take the "abuse" she was suffering in the hands of the other crew. When the BF asked her what "abuse" she suffered, she said that on her SNY flight, she was made to stand all throughout (except for take off and landing of course) and she was not allowed to take any meal or toilet breaks. And frequently on flights, she would be ignored by the other crew in the team or reprimanded by them. When she was first introduced to the team, they "loudly" hushed that she had had plastic surgery and that everything about her was fake.

Here was this girl, standing before me, tall and beautiful, and detailing how her confidence was/is crushed by mean, envious colleagues. I told her I understand why they were mean to her, clearly because she is absolutely stunning. AND she is nice. A lethal combination for envious people.

When we see a beautiful woman, we hope and cross out fingers that she is DUMB.
When we hear of a intelligent lady, we hope that she is UGLY.
When we know of someone successful in their career, we wished that she was lonely at the top.
When we see someone drenched in riches, we wished that she was unhappy.
When we see a beautiful woman with a ugly man, we say " He must be rich."
When we see a dashingly handsome man with a ugly woman we say " She must be rich."

We never admire the beauty, intelligence, success, riches or true love that another person has.
We always envy and to make ourselves feel better, we step on the other and bring them down.

And what if this person was a friend? What if a friend was envious of you? I have friends who whisper behind my back just to bring me down. I have good friends who find faults with me just because they are envious of what I have.

You know what Muhamad Ali says?
"Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything. "

Unfortunately, sometimes we have friends whom we are better off without. And to illustrate a point, what better way than this:-And isn't that the truth?!